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How Lockdown Dry spell Has Pushed Kenyan Women Into Paying For Lungula

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If you ever doubted that Kenyan women are breathing, eating, F@#ing examples of hypocrites, check this out

A 2019 consumer survey ranked Kenyan women among the highest consumers of porn in the world.

According to the insight by Porn Hub, Kenyan women watched more porn than their sisters in Europe and United States.

In Africa, Uganda, Tanzania, Rwanda, and Ethiopia showed no change in the number of women who consumed porn, while Somalia had an insignificant reduction in the numbers.

South Sudanese women were less interested in porn. Would you blame them? The women plagued by war are busy thinking of how to stay alive, not get d#$@ sucking skills from the professionals on the internet

Other African countries with a high number of women watching porn were Botswana, Namibia, Lesotho, and Swaziland- the South African women are said to be s#x goddesses. If you doubt it, next time, search Mzanzi and see how they ride ‘meat’; yeah, just in case you wonder where some of us get our skills, we learn from the gurus- a South African woman gets your man, you are done!

“Kim Kardashian remains the most searched Porn star by women and Mia Khalifa is now in third place after being surpassed by Riley Reid who is sitting quite comfortably at second place for the year,” the report read in part.

I’d be damned! Is it out of curiosity? Because my cat licks her paws better than Kim sucked Ray J’s d@#$ but hey, what do I know.

Porn for women searches increased by 359 percent in 2017 with ‘Lesbian’ in the first place, ‘lesbian scissoring’ coming in second, and ‘threesome’ in third place.

“Thanks to the anonymized data provided by Google Analytics, Porn Hub’s statisticians are able to build an accurate picture of the demographic makeup of our visitors including their gender, age, and even interests,” the report explained in part.

These are the same women who will scream how Aoko is vulgar. That the modern woman is so in charge of her sexual life is such a sharp contrast to our mothers who knew nothing like a G-spot and sex was purely for procreation.

Begs the question, are there worrying implications of western influence on our societal mores. Life in the city affords one anonymity and access to sex, food, security in their terms. In cities, women have a bigger pool of sexual and sensual talent to pick and choose.

Sexual liberalism is evident. In the bygone era, where most women were destined to be housewives, there were binding social conventions and women were expected to practice uncompromising fidelity. But at the workplace, with frequent traveling to conferences, business-related excursions sex has become casual and transactional.

Now, everywhere women look, there are available men, who can offer everything they want, but not necessarily in one package. We live in a time and in a society that has embraced the romance idealism defined through the Western Mass media.

The relational power men held is no longer absolute and these societal changes are redefining gender relationships at a rapid speed. The ground has moved, the old ways have fallen apart and we know not where to turn. From sex to money, men no longer have the monopoly on the things that they used to ‘control’ women.

And just before the lockdown, women could walk into a club and wiggle their waist into a one-night stand. With the curfew and consequent restrictions, boredom et al, women now solicit for sex on social media, and here is the interesting part, they are willing to pay for it

A simple Google search exposes various adverts promising ‘a good time’ from agile, handsome, young men. All you have to do is join a WhatsApp group after paying the membership fee of Sh2,000.

On Facebook, there’s the  Nairobi Cougar Lounge, a group where young men looking for women who can pay them for sex and sex agencies linking these men with women mingle freely.

Ostensibly, women are doing away with the whole pretend dating process and seeking out men purely for physical gratification in contractual no-strings-attached arrangements.

Sebastian, 28, who likes to go by Seby, is one of these men trading his body for cash. His Facebook post says that he is looking for ‘stable’ women.

His profile shows a man of medium height, dark-skinned and his bulging biceps is a sharp contrast to his face, which looks much younger than 28. He weight lifts.

What does a 28-year-old know about intimacy or a woman’s body that a much-experienced woman would pay him for intimacy?

Sexual intimacy, he reveals, is hardly ever a priority in the average Kenyan marriage, especially after the first two or so years.

Also, while the most common requests from him on his side job is sexual intimacy, his average client isn’t looking for years of sexual experience.

According to him, she is looking for someone she can have an exciting sexual experience with. “Mwanamke anataka tu kufeel special, kufeel tu yeye ndiye focus yako (Usually, a woman is just looking to spend time with a man whose only focus is making her feel good),” he says.

Maurice Matheka, a relationship and sexual psychology expert, is hardly surprised that men like Seby have a constant trickle of clients, some of them married women.

He explains that there exist two types of sex: recreational and procreation. “Most of the sex happening in our homes is for procreation purposes, which is usually boring and obligatory. Women who pay for sex are not trying to leave their husbands, they are just looking for a stimulus that they are not getting at home,” he says.

But isn’t it possible to have both kinds at home? “It is. Same way it’s possible to cook very good food at home but still want to go to a restaurant once in a while.”

So, do Seby’s clients at least wine and dine him before they bed him? He shakes his head. No, they don’t.

He meets most of them in city hotel rooms and a few of them in their homes. He admits that he is under no illusions about the contract nature of these arrangements.

The money isn’t top dollar but it’s enough to help feed, clothe and send his siblings to school. His parents are unaware of his side hustle.

They are grateful that his job at the spa is going well. Seby has a girlfriend he sees himself marrying someday and she has no idea he services women for money

John is 30, though his profile reads that he is 26 because his clients like younger men. He is about 5 foot 7, chocolate skinned, has a medium build, an open smile and a surprisingly open demeanor like one would expect of a more forward man.

He is easy on the eye. He also speaks good English.

John wanted to study medicine but fate however had a totally different plan for him, and he found himself studying hotel management at a city college.

Because no job was forthcoming after graduation, he took up small waiter jobs in clubs over the weekend.

It was while there that a colleague told him of an outfit that recruited young men for stripper gigs. He could earn as much as Ksh5,000 for a few hours.

That’s how he started dancing and stripping. “I dance at private parties,’ he offers.

“When you go to those bridal showers where there are strippers, women behave just like men. They grab, spank, and they ask dancers for extras. We are all not that different,” he says.

Most of his clients are women he meets from these events. What is the profile of the average Kenyan woman who pays a prostitute?

“They are married, young, mostly in their 30’s. Some of them are even attractive,” he says.

Why do young attractive women need to pay for sex?

“Women are dating or married to men who are not very creative in bed. Men who spend their weekends drinking or going out of town to look for plots to buy,” he says.

He’s got a request once or twice from a woman to impregnate her because her husband can’t, but he turns them down.

“A child is a commitment for life. It’s not something you do with someone you do not know,” he says.

His clients are repeat clients but they will not call him every week. She will call him and disappear for weeks or sometimes months, then something will happen in her life that will make her feel sad or lonely and she will call him again.

He charges anything from Ksh3,000 for time with him. Charges vary from woman to woman.

What do you think?

Written by Aoko Otieno

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