‘There’s Nothing like a G-Spot’ and Other Lessons Fathers Should Teach Sons About Women

Fathers are the most underrated parents. Yet, they provide protection, economic support and are male role models.

Granted, they vaunt a parenting style that is fundamentally different from that of a mother and that different perspective and style is pertinent in the development of a child. Especially a son. It is unfortunate that because of the stereotyping in our culture, the place of a father in the life of a child is not taken seriously.

Fathers are important. They are the male role models to their sons. They teach their sons how to treat women, their wives and their children. They teach their sons how a man is supposed to act in relationships and react to people in general. Talking of which, if you are a father to a son or hoping you’d be one soon or in the future, then the following are a few pragmatic lessons to inculcate in the young fellow about women.

There’s everything manly about cleaning up well

Hygiene does not mean you are a sissy. And this is not to say that you turn into a metrosexual man who sits in front of the mirror with veet to shave his pubic hair, but do not compete with pigs for the coveted ‘smell trophy’ either. You do not even have to smell like a Nigerian gigolo confusing our women in Nairobi but at least, scrub the teeth and that body dear boy. A man who cleans up well is a magnet to them ladies, not to mention that it can boost your career.

And invest in those inner stuff. You can flaunt a Little Red caliber of shoe and designer watch but when you strip and reveal some faded indigo boxers, trust me, she will call a radio station to vent over it. And oh, never go to bed only in what your mama gave you- anything can happen at night. You sure do not want to be the neighbor dashing out with stuff dangling precariously.

Women Cheat

Surprise! Do not think a woman will choose you because you have a singing waist or you look like Idris Elba. There will always be men more easy on the eyes and more virile than you.

The best part of it, women will always settle for the clown to cheat on you with. The scumbag, bottom of the barrel riffraff and probably because he makes her laugh or remembers her birthday. In life, you will either be the one she cheats on or cheats with.

Her handbag and Phone are to be eschewed like Leprosy

Only an insecure, spineless swine will snoop on a woman’s phone, rummage through her handbag and stalk her with incessant questions of, “where are you? What time are you coming home? Who were you with?” You are a man for holy molly’s sake. Act like one.

Still on acting like a man, never be coaxed into visiting a shrink. Or call in a radio station to wail about your relationship and lambast women. Most of these pedestrian relationship counsellors are often in worse situations. If you have been dumped, cheated on, slapped, bewitched or whatever, you are not the first and won’t be the last. Man up and face your situation. Fix it or walk away.

Never touch Viagra

If the shameless viper between your thighs decides not to bare its fangs at the hour of need, tell the babe that you live to sting another day. Turn and sleep. Sex is not food and even women acknowledge that it is one hell of an overrated activity.

You can spare your prowess for other things, like making money, reading nice books or drinking fine whisky. And oh, if you don’t use protection, you will be a bloody baby daddy and get dragged to court for child support. Sheath up!

Do not enter your home as chicken come home to roost

A man never hurries to his home. Take your time, pass by the pub and catch a cold barley and argue with fellow men about politics and football. Then drive, walk, or ride your cycle leisurely, after all, is that not your home? Are you not the man of the house? Be unpredictable.

Son, there’s nothing like G-spot. Stop looking for it

Finally, boy, don’t waste valuable time searching for some intricate thing called the G-Spot. Chances are, it is just a rumor conjured by feminists. Who cares? For years, we didn’t know Kenya was sitting on Oil in Turkana, but did we die? No man has ever found it.

What do you think?

Written by Aoko Otieno

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